One Year

It has been quite a while since I've blogged. The last couple being on Xanga probably months and months apart. I'm pretty sure the quality of my writing has also plummeted since I've stopped, a reason I'm going to try this whole blogging business again. But another reason, equally important, is that it's a nice chronicle of my life. Looking back on my past blogs is pretty embarrassing. The things that I thought were life or death situations, the things I cried over, the things I got infinitely angry about and even the people that I thought were important - all seem petty now. I'm sure that if I look back on this blog in a few years, I'll probably think the exact same thing. Still. It's a nice chronicle, even if it is childish.

Even though I have refused to believe it, I didn't even attend my LAS graduation even though my mom and brothers drove up for it, college graduation is a milestone. In some ways, due to the path that I've decided to take, it doesn't seem like much will change. I will continue with another 4 years of school just a mile away in the opposite direction. I will continue to live in the same apartment that I've been in for the past 4 years. I will continue to study in the same way, with the same multitude of colored pens and highlighters as I have before. But other aspects of my life, definitely, will change.

I think that it's because I didn't even have this part of my life before. Or rather that I had it, but it wasn't as prominent as it is now. The past year has brought so many changes, as will the coming year. If you ask me whether I could have predicted to be where I am now, a year ago, the answer would be a definitive "no." But I'm pretty sure it has made me a more well-rounded person. At least I hope it has.

I'm excited for the change, the departure from the cozy niche that we created, the dive headfirst into intense medical education, but I'm also extremely extremely scared. After graduating high school, I thought - "From here on out, everything is really important for my future." After graduating college, I have the exact same thought. But I think...I'm right this time. And that is scary.

Yay future. Yay medical school. Goodbye any social life I have accumulated this past year, which really isn't that much, but I still liked it.

I wonder if I read this in a year I'll think that I was overreacting. Or maybe I'll read it after I graduate medical school and think "No no no, NOW it's important." But I don't think I will. Since after medical school I go to residency. Which is determined by things during medical school. Ah-ha. But. Maybe I'll read it in 10 years! And then I'll think that this is all just childish drivel.